I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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