Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
