I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
