Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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