It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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