Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
