she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
