Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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