Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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