we're blogging at a bar
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
