I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
