i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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