After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
