I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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