The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
It's official drugs can't kill me
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
