I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
