I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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