If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Actions speak louder than pants.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
