You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
