i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
