I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
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Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
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You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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