hell yes lets make some ravioli
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
