Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Do you have swine flu?

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  Pigs, yes. Swine, no.

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  (202): Do you have swine flu? (1-202): I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine. (1-202): Pigs, yes. Swine, no. http://tfl.nu/dq8y
  Replies (1) Good night (561) Bad night (856)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  wat bout pragnant strippers??

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  (815)wat bout pragnant strippers?? http://tfl.nu/yg4y
  Replies (7) Good night (612) Bad night (1058)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.

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  (979): Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina. http://tfl.nu/ikem
  Replies (26) Good night (871) Bad night (3780)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"

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  (516): I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!" http://tfl.nu/g6w4
  Replies (81) Good night (4996) Bad night (1024)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.

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  (740): ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments. http://tfl.nu/bi4c
  Replies (11) Good night (4295) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please

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  (202): im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please http://tfl.nu/aagw
  Replies (29) Good night (4388) Bad night (1594)
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  (516): View more from New York

  His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.

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  (516): His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps. http://tfl.nu/q0ub
  Replies (12) Good night (7860) Bad night (1061)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  organizing the empties. That sober.

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  (508): organizing the empties. That sober. http://tfl.nu/fz1p
  Replies (9) Good night (843) Bad night (2945)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.

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  (703): I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve. http://tfl.nu/i1km
  Replies (3) Good night (1481) Bad night (2243)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.

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  (920): I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters. http://tfl.nu/cy91
  Replies (2) Good night (2150) Bad night (927)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.

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  (720): Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated. http://tfl.nu/fo7q
  Replies (4) Good night (1501) Bad night (630)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.

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  (772): I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do. http://tfl.nu/7vxu
  Replies (23) Good night (2815) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"

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  (774): You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!" http://tfl.nu/sqoz
  Replies (4) Good night (1713) Bad night (515)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.

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  (443): Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her. http://tfl.nu/t8u7
  Replies (0) Good night (533) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.

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  (410): The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club. http://tfl.nu/ncu7
  Replies (0) Good night (327) Bad night (194)

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