I just cut my nipple shaving
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one