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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.

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• (951): View more from California

  I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I just started talking about how noodles were so good

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist

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