Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy

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  (904): So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5 (312): Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy http://tfl.nu/43t9
  Replies (2) Good night (1048) Bad night (553)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.

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  (608): Im mastering the way to pass gas silently. http://tfl.nu/n26o
  Replies (24) Good night (2979) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous

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  (760): i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous http://tfl.nu/sccn
  Replies (25) Good night (742) Bad night (5277)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.

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  (708): She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin. http://tfl.nu/wbej
  Replies (24) Good night (1922) Bad night (6860)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.

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  (513): I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this. http://tfl.nu/ok35
  Replies (20) Good night (6502) Bad night (1284)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn

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  (305): I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn http://tfl.nu/ufam
  Replies (25) Good night (4510) Bad night (1217)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Wow that was a lesbian tornado.

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  (201): Wow that was a lesbian tornado. http://tfl.nu/1am2
  Replies (14) Good night (3628) Bad night (1117)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.

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  (678): We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/k4wd
  Replies (2) Good night (876) Bad night (1500)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.

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  (901): I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking. http://tfl.nu/t4jf
  Replies (11) Good night (4976) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.

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  (203): Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it. http://tfl.nu/pgje
  Replies (10) Good night (1314) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.

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  (484): You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now. http://tfl.nu/l9he
  Replies (4) Good night (657) Bad night (976)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.

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  (843): I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs. http://tfl.nu/k4hm
  Replies (11) Good night (1079) Bad night (1947)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator

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  (701): You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator http://tfl.nu/12pr
  Replies (3) Good night (718) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna

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  (941): im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna http://tfl.nu/nksh
  Replies (1) Good night (622) Bad night (419)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"

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  (512): Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants" http://tfl.nu/ccmr
  Replies (3) Good night (787) Bad night (311)

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