Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet

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  (646): it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet http://tfl.nu/1rea
  Replies (2) Good night (783) Bad night (926)
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  (805): View more from California

  at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.

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  (805): at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle. http://tfl.nu/34ph
  Replies (64) Good night (1264) Bad night (3242)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  that is the greatest description ever

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  (440): it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once (1-440): that is the greatest description ever http://tfl.nu/1t1l
  Replies (9) Good night (2380) Bad night (536)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  only if we run a train.

  (1-214): View more from Texas

  done.

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  (214): only if we run a train. (1-214): done. http://tfl.nu/x860
  Replies (7) Good night (3555) Bad night (743)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.

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  (256): we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it. http://tfl.nu/bdg5
  Replies (34) Good night (10832) Bad night (1576)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  i think the cat found all the blow we lost...

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  (269): i think the cat found all the blow we lost... http://tfl.nu/uqm6
  Replies (31) Good night (1570) Bad night (5746)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.

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  (217): Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself. http://tfl.nu/hfdh
  Replies (12) Good night (1036) Bad night (7296)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.

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  (817): I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth. http://tfl.nu/n8z4
  Replies (15) Good night (1107) Bad night (4382)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred

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  (508): Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level. (508): I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred http://tfl.nu/piwf
  Replies (10) Good night (2655) Bad night (1035)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  And I might get them triple pierced after that

  (631): View more from New York

  Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors

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  (239): And I might get them triple pierced after that (631): Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors http://tfl.nu/vrzy
  Replies (13) Good night (1209) Bad night (596)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.

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  (352): Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life. http://tfl.nu/37e0
  Replies (1) Good night (906) Bad night (462)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me

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  (479): Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me http://tfl.nu/1kph
  Replies (2) Good night (448) Bad night (693)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.

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  (314): I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work. http://tfl.nu/eou1
  Replies (1) Good night (613) Bad night (376)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love

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  (727): Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love http://tfl.nu/6r91
  Replies (2) Good night (941) Bad night (245)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY

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  (732): I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY http://tfl.nu/jrl0
  Replies (1) Good night (327) Bad night (122)

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