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I can text with my tongue
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
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