the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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