are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
