Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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