So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
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you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Can I color on your dick again?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
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Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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