if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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