Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
