If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
