Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
