Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Floor bacon is actually really good
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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