I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
