the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
