...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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