HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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