After last night, I could never be a politician.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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