Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Boobs are out for the taking
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Randomize