Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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