as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
