she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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