I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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