bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
