best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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