I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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