dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He has the fingertips of a God
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