This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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