you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
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Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
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I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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