Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape

(617): View more from Massachusetts

wtf, did you fuck a retard?!

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(260): View more from Indiana

He went soft

(631): View more from New York

Wait. During?

(260): View more from Indiana

Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(256): View more from Alabama

I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.

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(425): View more from Washington

Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.

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(206): View more from Washington

Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????

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(646): View more from New York

Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.

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