; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo