I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.