hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
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Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
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It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.