feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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