She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
