So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
