That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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