i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
