Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
