I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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