I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
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