I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
