okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i wish my penis had a tongue
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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