Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
