Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
