Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
